On the Half Shell – Living in the Raw

That’s not a good way to put that, I suppose. I never want to “put away” Christmas. I sure don’t want to put away that sentiment or spirit. It’s always bittersweet. Seems to come down much faster than putting out the decorations. Either way, I am always reminded of what these cherished things mean, from whom they were received, when they were received or purchased. The weeks leading up to Christmas and during Christmas are so full of wonderful things- activities, memories, love, fellowship, decorations everywhere…then, it’s all gone. The family celebrations are done, folks have gone home, the decorations are gone. The doldrums seem to set in. We shouldn’t allow that! As I sit with my freshly made afternoon coffee, grandsons napping and listening to the quiet, I am at peace. I’m not sad or melancholy or longing for other days.

To be honest, while “Christmas” has been put away, I’m still enjoying my little kitchen tree that has been adorned with only red birds memorializing loved ones who have gone before me. I still have greenery with twinkle lights above my kitchen cabinets and along the mantle in the living room. Not to mention all my Nativities – my faves. We don’t have to put it all away.

Yes. I’m back after a briefly long absence. I spent the week of Spring Break (week of March 12) doing things I WANTED to do. Cade was with Yaya and KPop, and Miller was with his dad and getting to see precious Ms. Marion. :). Joy and I spent a couple of days together that week rearranging and redecorating (only a couple of new things) our den. Then I spent a few WONDERFUL days with Sharon in Oxford. We didn’t do much, and it was GLORIOUS. We went to bed two nights at like 8:00!

Last week was a pretty normal week—until it wasn’t. I had Cade and Miller through Thursday, and then Miller went to his dad’s, and Cade stayed home with his mama on Friday. Friday night, severe weather/tornadoes ripped through parts of the Mississippi Delta, starting with Rolling Fork. Then on to Silver City and further north. It was terrible. William’s (former son-in-law) parents live in Silver City, and their home suffered severe damage. They were not harmed, but there were lots of fatalities and many casualties. Aside from that, Cade started running fever on Friday. Went to the doctor on Saturday and was diagnosed with Hand Foot Mouth. He has had the absolute worst case I have ever seen. I feel so bad for him, and I would have done anything to take that for him. Today is Wednesday, and he is still home with his mama. We have also been spreading Pink Eye around. Can’t get rid of it. I said yesterday that we needed a ritual purification or perhaps an exorcism! Joy wants to come and do a “ritual saging”. UHHHH NO, Joy. Thanks anyway. I don’t need any weirdo spirits hanging around here now or ever. 🙂

It had been really warm the last week. Yesterday and today are seasonally cool and pleasant. It has been fantastic. I wish it was like this always.

Eucharisteo

March 29, 2023

One of the devotionals I read this morning ended with this question, “where and when have you experienced God’s goodness and favor?”.

Where? Everywhere. When? Every day . Just now. On the patio. The birds so sweetly singing. A red bird that came to our little courtyard feeder and stayed for five minutes or so. Five Beautiful Minutes. They always make me think of Mama. I watched him until he flew off into a tree where I could no longer see his bright red cloak of feathers. But it reminded me of Mama. I might not see her, but she is always close to my heart. Even more so, of Jesus. I cannot see HIM, but I know HE is there. Just within a whisper. Just within a thought. Always.

Eucharisteo

March 6, 2023

Weariness…daily…never ends…WHEN WILL IT END. What it is that I’m lacking that keeps it with me? I need it to stop. I realized this morning, in my quiet time, which continues now as I write, that my weariness is affecting B. It is affecting him more than it is me. Sure, I’m tired, but I go to bed early to try to ward if off and relieve it. But he gets NO relief from my weariness. He gets the ill mood, the exhausted sighs, the complaints…he is left alone nightly. Sure, he understands. I know he does. And I know he’s frustrated by it. I need to do better. When his workday is over, I need to realign my focus to him. JUST him.

3/23/23

Yes, muddling. I think that may be what I’m doing. Like muddling a cocktail, I think I am muddling through the days, my thoughts, my chores. Or maybe I’m “dazed and confused”. I feel unfocused. Sometimes I can be laser-focused, but not lately. I’m not sure of the problem. I have certainly prayed about it, but have no answer yet. I shall persevere.

At least my sourdough starter is not muddled. I passed the test of perseverance there. After several, and I mean SEVERAL, weeks, it became ALIVE and active, and I was able to have two very successful bread makings. I still need to work on the recipes and my technique, but I now know I can do it. So there is that….

I think I am feeling robbed of time. Time to do the things that I want and need to do. I’ve been working on an old desk project for several weeks now. But I never seem to have everything I need and no way to get whatever that is. Whether it’s something from “The Great”’s workshop, Lowe’s, Hobby Lobby, or wherever. Or as soon as I start working, something else has to be done – something more important.

There is just never enough time. Never. I try to use my time wisely, yet it’s never enough. At least no one can say I’m “idle”. THAT IS FOR SURE! :).

There is certainly nothing unusual about the things i have written in this post. It’s a common thread amongst women – men too, for that matter. But it does help to write or talk about it. I often wonder if Jesus, in HIS daily life on earth, went to sleep at night lamenting the things HE didn’t finish that day. I need to concentrate more on the prayer I recently learned and remember that I have prayed for God to give me the time to do the things HE wants me to accomplish that day, and let the rest go for another day. I keep forgetting to be sure to let my desires align with His direction. That needs to be etched into my very being. Today and every day from now on…

As my baby girl likes to say, “Peace and Blessings, Y’all”.

Eucharisteo

March 1, 2023

JESUS CALLING today warns against self-pity and how being weary or unwell is a demonic trap if we are not on guard. I must admit that I am feeling a bit weary the last week. Tired, no energy, just downright exhausted. So does that me I am suffering from self-pity, or am I just feeling and expressing honestly? I certainly don’t want to have pity on myself – I have far too much to be thankful for and my cup overflows! Yet, I want to be able to express to others that, quite frankly, I AM TIRED. I go to bed early, and have been sleeping well this week (more on that in a bit), yet it feels like I never get enough sleep. “YOU NEED EXERCISE”, they say. “EXERCISE? When, oh when, might I have time for that?”, I say. With two little boy grandangels underfoot, household chores to do, meals to prepare, etc., my waking hours would have to be about 20 per day to have time for exercise. Eating habits – yes, eating habits would help in this regard. And I know it. STOP with the excess. STOP with the unhealthy things I consume. Give up the joy and satisfaction they bring, for better well-being. It’s a matter of WILL. I must find it , and I must start looking today.

Today is a school day for my MillerMan. So it’ll just be me and the Cademan for a little while. ‘Won’t get much done during pre-school time with regard to housework. Mama used to say, “If I was Samantha, I’d twitch my nose and…”, in reference to one of my favorite old tv shows, BEWITCHED, where Samantha, the main character, who was married to Darren, was a witch. And she could twitch her nose and make magic. From a broom sweeping itself, a vacuum running itself, etc. OH, THE THINGS I COULD DO!!! 🙂

I’m siting here at the kitchen table, coffee in hand- it’s now about 6AM, and I’m looking at a vase of tulips Miller (thanks to B) brought me on Saturday. I absolutely LOVE tulips. I wish I had tulips on my table every day. ANYWAY, the table is alongside my plant table that stands beside the dining area window. I currently have an aloe Vera, two little Inch Plants/Wandering Jew, an Easter cactus (which I need to start keeping in mostly darkness soon for force it to bloom – reminder to SELF), and 5 small Christmas cactus. I love them all. I love looking at them and watching them grow. They make me happy. Anyway, back to the tulips…when I was a little girl, I remember JWM drawing and coloring a beautiful Mother’s Day card for Mama. I think it was done on manila paper – hmmm, do they even make manila paper and use it at school anymore?? On the front of the card he had drawn a vase of tulips. I thought it was the most beautiful picture I had ever seen. I suppose that was the first time I ever saw tulips, but I guess I have loved them since. So many things I have to thank that man for…love of tulips, love of Mississippi State baseball (well, Mama too for that – and Daddy), the band BOSTON, grilled boneless chicken wings in LFL at Dudy Noble Field, the Marshall Tucker Band, Cody Jinks. The list could go on and on…). I’ve told B many times, “Forget roses. Bring me tulips.”

I think I was supposed to talk about sleeping well this week…boy, my mind wanders a lot. I was “badgered” (thanks, Rachel-so glad you did) into going to a women’s conference/retreat at church last Sunday. Sara and I were reluctant participants, but it was a wonderful morning and early afternoon. The speaker was Katy McCown. She is married to former NFL qb Luke McCown, and they have six children and live on a ranch in East TX. She read us a prayer she wrote a couple of years ago for when she wakes every day, and it begins with giving the day to God and asking Him to align her direction with His desires. It’s simple and perfect. That evening, I thought, “why not do the same thing at night?” You know, give Him the night to worry, toss and turn etc. So I have been praying her prayer in the morning, and revising her prayer for night. I have slept so very well this week, and I know it’s because of that prayer and truly giving it over to HIM.

Eucharisteo.

February 23, 2023

I keep a running to-do list. Several, in fact. They are written in an app on my iPad, they are written on a scrap piece of paper somewhere in the kitchen, and they are written in my Peanuts notebook. Not to mention the list that just plays in my mind. That list used to make me crazy if I didn’t complete it. Now that I am older, wiser, unable to drive and have two precious boys to tend to, the urgency of that list is non-emergent. But it makes me feel like I have a sense of order, although I have no control really over the list itself or the order of my life. But HE does.

“Although each day contains 24 hours,every single one presents a unique set of circumstances. Don’t try to force fit today into yesterday’s mold.” (Jesus Calling, February 17)

Wow. So Simple. “Each hour presents a unique set of circumstances” – man, is that an understatement. But how wonderful IS that? At first thought, it seems like that statement could be ominously negative. Yet, it’s not. More often than not, that hour in question could present something so precious. Like a kiss from a 2-1/2 year old. Cackling laughter from a one year old. An unexpected sweet text note from a loved one, a red bird (what we southerners call a Cardinal) on the feeder bright enough for my eyes to see. So many wonders and sweet moments if I’m just open and unguarded enough.

Eucharisteo (February 17, 2023)

Yep. It’s that kind of day. It’s been that kind of week. The kind that you just need a few minutes to take care of yourself, in whatever way that manifests.

For me, this particular morning, it manifested once Miller went to preschool (Cade is with his K-Pop today), and I made myself some breakfast – yep…country ham, biscuits with butter and Blackburn syrup. But most delicious was HIS word for me today. It satisfied my hunger, my hurt, my aches, my soul.

Jeremiah 31:25 For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.

Eucharisteo

February 16, 2023

Oh what a glorious day that day was….one baby boy at preschool, and the other one with his K Pop for the day, meant that I had 4 sweet hours of ME time until sweet Uncle C (my son-in-love) brought MillerMan home from school. I had many tasks planned and a TO DO list to be checked. I love a list and a pen to mark off the boxes. Check. Check. Check.

How many things did I check off, you ask? ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. NOT.A.SINGLE.ONE. But you know what? IT WAS PERFECT. And it was okay. It was cold. It was rainy. Just the way I like wintertime. Who am I kidding? I like rain. I like clouds. Not sure what that says about me, but I do. Mainly, I don’t like hear and I do not like to sweat. At.All.

Anyway. Back to my glorious day. I drank coffee. Lots of it. I petted puppy dogs and the kitty cat. I pondered. I Bible studied. I pondered. And I rested. Yes. It was true REST, even though I was not sleeping. I could not get over how it made me feel. I talked about it ad nauseam to B and Little One (my Jamie Lyn – the younger of the two beauties B and I were blessed with). the probably thought I was nuts. I felt renewed. Refreshed.

I repotted Christmas cacti while the little man slept. They were given to me by a friend of my older beautiful one, Sissie (Jourdan Anne). They had been used at the country club where Sissie works. I made a skillet blueberry pie, and it was DIVINE, especially topped with ice cream.

ABSOLUTE. GLORIOUS. DAY.

Eucharisteo

I would say it’s an appropriate name for this home most days. With two little boys afoot, you just never know what might happen. Just like the other day…….

Apparently while I was rocking #2 grandson, a massive snowstorm happened, causing buses, trucks and the like to become stalled. Thankfully, the driver of the vehicles that caused all of the calamity was taken into custody and put down for a nap. The road crew was able to get everything cleared – eventually – although remnants of snow are still being found throughout the area.

Just another beautiful day of EUCHARISTEO…so blessed.

February 1, 2023