On the Half Shell – Living in the Raw

JESUS CALLING today warns against self-pity and how being weary or unwell is a demonic trap if we are not on guard. I must admit that I am feeling a bit weary the last week. Tired, no energy, just downright exhausted. So does that me I am suffering from self-pity, or am I just feeling and expressing honestly? I certainly don’t want to have pity on myself – I have far too much to be thankful for and my cup overflows! Yet, I want to be able to express to others that, quite frankly, I AM TIRED. I go to bed early, and have been sleeping well this week (more on that in a bit), yet it feels like I never get enough sleep. “YOU NEED EXERCISE”, they say. “EXERCISE? When, oh when, might I have time for that?”, I say. With two little boy grandangels underfoot, household chores to do, meals to prepare, etc., my waking hours would have to be about 20 per day to have time for exercise. Eating habits – yes, eating habits would help in this regard. And I know it. STOP with the excess. STOP with the unhealthy things I consume. Give up the joy and satisfaction they bring, for better well-being. It’s a matter of WILL. I must find it , and I must start looking today.

Today is a school day for my MillerMan. So it’ll just be me and the Cademan for a little while. ‘Won’t get much done during pre-school time with regard to housework. Mama used to say, “If I was Samantha, I’d twitch my nose and…”, in reference to one of my favorite old tv shows, BEWITCHED, where Samantha, the main character, who was married to Darren, was a witch. And she could twitch her nose and make magic. From a broom sweeping itself, a vacuum running itself, etc. OH, THE THINGS I COULD DO!!! 🙂

I’m siting here at the kitchen table, coffee in hand- it’s now about 6AM, and I’m looking at a vase of tulips Miller (thanks to B) brought me on Saturday. I absolutely LOVE tulips. I wish I had tulips on my table every day. ANYWAY, the table is alongside my plant table that stands beside the dining area window. I currently have an aloe Vera, two little Inch Plants/Wandering Jew, an Easter cactus (which I need to start keeping in mostly darkness soon for force it to bloom – reminder to SELF), and 5 small Christmas cactus. I love them all. I love looking at them and watching them grow. They make me happy. Anyway, back to the tulips…when I was a little girl, I remember JWM drawing and coloring a beautiful Mother’s Day card for Mama. I think it was done on manila paper – hmmm, do they even make manila paper and use it at school anymore?? On the front of the card he had drawn a vase of tulips. I thought it was the most beautiful picture I had ever seen. I suppose that was the first time I ever saw tulips, but I guess I have loved them since. So many things I have to thank that man for…love of tulips, love of Mississippi State baseball (well, Mama too for that – and Daddy), the band BOSTON, grilled boneless chicken wings in LFL at Dudy Noble Field, the Marshall Tucker Band, Cody Jinks. The list could go on and on…). I’ve told B many times, “Forget roses. Bring me tulips.”

I think I was supposed to talk about sleeping well this week…boy, my mind wanders a lot. I was “badgered” (thanks, Rachel-so glad you did) into going to a women’s conference/retreat at church last Sunday. Sara and I were reluctant participants, but it was a wonderful morning and early afternoon. The speaker was Katy McCown. She is married to former NFL qb Luke McCown, and they have six children and live on a ranch in East TX. She read us a prayer she wrote a couple of years ago for when she wakes every day, and it begins with giving the day to God and asking Him to align her direction with His desires. It’s simple and perfect. That evening, I thought, “why not do the same thing at night?” You know, give Him the night to worry, toss and turn etc. So I have been praying her prayer in the morning, and revising her prayer for night. I have slept so very well this week, and I know it’s because of that prayer and truly giving it over to HIM.

Eucharisteo.

February 23, 2023