I feel like a bruised reed lately. And my wick is certainly not burning as brightly as I’d like. I’m weary. Bone tired. But I know HE sustains me. And I feel joy. Truly. JOY.
The weariness comes from the joy of my two baby boys. They provide me a purpose. A meaning. A reason to keep going when I’m tired. And as tired a I am, GOD keeps me going. Keeps me doing.
But at nightfall, when I finally sit and slow down, I realize I am exhausted. I go to bed early. I feel guilty about that for B, but he is understanding and loving about it. I sleep- usually not well, but it’s sleep nonetheless. And I wake up just as the alarm is going off to start again.
I used to plan out what I was going to do every day, to no avail. It never seemed to pan out, and I would be anxious about all the things I didn’t get done. The Good Lord(and Bruce Smith) have helped me to see that It IS OKAY, and that it just doesn’t matter. My days are full of laughter, love, some frustration, some crying. No. Not me. At least not usually :). It’s good. It’s ALL good – HE is good.
Isaiah 42:3 says, “a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench”… YES. My GOD sustains me. Today I am going to do my compost trash can, paint my desk, clean out the toy box and reconquer my Prayer Pit.
Where is that laughter coming from? It’s getting louder, and it’s not Miller. Ohhhhh. Wait. Hey, God.
Eucharisteo. February 8, 2023
On the Half Shell - Living in the Raw 
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